{"lang":"en","posts":[{"title":"Project Akari Mascot — Akari-chan","url":"/en/2026/06/05/project-akari-mascot/","date":"2026-06-05","content":"After tinkering for a while, it's finally taking shape — the mascot of my software project Project Akari, Akari-chan. Took quite a few gacha pulls but she looks pretty good; will refine more later 🥺🥺 After tinkering for a while, it's finally taking shape — the mascot of my software project Project Akari, Akari-chan. Took quite a few gacha pulls but she looks pretty good; will refine more later 🥺🥺 --- ![Akari-chan 1](/images/thoughts/3e472e417e98b93c15491bd8758632fc.png) ![Akari-chan 2](/images/thoughts/b915b69415b42d32f621f799c34d9391.png) ![Akari-chan 3](/images/thoughts/f41c068627821e7c4cf0df534268886c.jpeg) ![Akari-chan 4](/images/thoughts/1b740b11885699ce21621d96e3303c88.jpeg) ![Akari-chan 5](/images/thoughts/eed3d648af6f484c5d9c18683e568e42.jpeg) ![Akari-chan 6](/images/thoughts/88d4a5591b25d7ddf5eff22fcc23fd3f.jpeg)","tags":[],"categories":["Thoughts"]},{"title":"The Absurd University under the AI Chain","url":"/en/2026/06/02/the-absurd-university-under-the-ai-chain/","date":"2026-06-02","content":"The author opens with a screenshot circulating in a group chat: \"teachers use AI for courseware, students use AI for homework, everyone has a bright future.\" Long before AI, this kind of mask-wearing pretense was already common. But AI has flattened the cognitive friction of learning to the point where the absurdity is hard to ignore — at some universities, teachers generate courseware with AI, write exam questions with AI, and grade AI-written assignments (or AI grades them), while students attend AI-produced lectures and answer with AI. To gain a relative edge in this chain, an AI subscription arms race has begun: most people use free domestic models like Doubao or DeepSeek, while the more \"self-improving\" types figure out how to subscribe to overseas ones. Even if some use it well and others poorly, if universities keep going this way, both teachers and students end up as AI's workforce, and more people will start asking what school is even for. In the short term, unless something changes from the outside, most ordinary universities will keep grinding away inside this absurd chain. Teachers use AI to make courseware, give lectures, and write exam questions. Students use AI to answer AI-made questions and churn out assignments. Everyone has a bright future. (Today I saw a pretty funny screenshot in a group chat, along with talk of the AI subscription arms race, and figured I'd write this down.) Long before AI showed up, this kind of \"mask-wearing\" was already everywhere. But since AI came along, the cognitive friction of learning has been thinned out, sometimes almost erased. It gets worse as AI keeps expanding. It can make PPTs. You can feed an entire book into NotebookLM as source material and get mind maps and lecture notes with one click. At that point, the absurdity is hard to miss. At some universities, teachers use AI to generate courseware, students use AI to finish homework. Teachers grade AI-written assignments (or maybe AI does the grading too — AI grading another AI's exam questions, perfectly reasonable). Students sit through AI-produced lectures. Sometimes I hear stuff like this and it just feels absurd, but I don't even know what to say. (≧▽≦)(≧▽≦) Most college students are using free domestic models like Doubao and DeepSeek, so to get any relative edge in this chain, the AI subscription arms race has kicked off. If everyone is using AI, you have to compete on whose AI is better. Maybe in the future most people will just use a free model, and the slightly more ambitious ones will figure out how to subscribe to the overseas stuff. (^o^)/ To be fair, there's still differentiation inside the chain. Some people use it well, some badly. But if some universities keep going like this, with both teachers and students working for AI rather than learning or teaching, more and more people are going to start asking what school is even for. Teachers, too, will probably start doubting their own value. Of course, all of that depends on changes and reforms from somewhere. In the short term, at most ordinary universities, both teachers and students — except for the ones who are still serious, or who still have some kind of calling and refuse to just phone it in — are going to keep living and studying inside this absurd chain. gogo","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"Archiving My Posts, Less Junk Sharing","url":"/en/2026/05/25/archiving-my-posts-less-junk-sharing/","date":"2026-05-25","content":"The author decides to archive old QQ posts and share fewer junk posts in the future, for four reasons: 1) Old posts contain selfies, photos, school and location info, plus embarrassing history — with many strangers added, deleting hundreds one by one is impractical, so hiding everything is easier; 2) Sharing real thoughts isn't always appropriate since parents and teachers are on the account; 3) The author rarely expresses opinions online, doesn't watch short videos, has cleared out Baidu Tieba and Douban accounts, and mainly stays active on QQ and Zhihu, but posting too many opinions on Zhihu risks being labeled; 4) Every time rereading posts a few days later feels cringe — like outfit photos from early 2025. Final note: cleaned up other platform accounts, a kind of cyber hygiene — embarrassing history is best kept to oneself. I've decided to archive my old QQ posts and share fewer junk posts in the future. Four reasons: First, some of my old posts contain selfies or photos, information about my school and location, and even earlier ones have embarrassing history. With many strangers added, deleting hundreds one by one isn't practical — better to hide everything. Second, I feel that sometimes expressing my true thoughts isn't very appropriate, because parents and teachers might be on this account. Sharing too many opinions about education and the status quo doesn't really help, even though I study this field and am involved in it. Third, I rarely express my thoughts online. I don't watch short videos on Douyin or similar (because I think they promote ADHD and are bad for attention, and the content is mostly \"comfort food\"). I cleared out and deleted my Tieba and Douban accounts a few days ago. I barely watch Bilibili either. Currently I'm mostly active on QQ and Zhihu, but I don't think expressing too many opinions on Zhihu is a good idea — it's easy to get labeled, and there's no benefit anyway. I usually just share some thoughts on QQ and my blog, and post serious articles on Zhihu. Fourth, every time I reread my QQ posts a few days later, I feel really embarrassed. For example, those outfit photos I posted in early 2025 — I think it's better to hide them. I don't really want people seeing my embarrassing history. I've recently cleaned up my accounts on other platforms — either deleted or cleared them out. I don't check them often anyway, less is more. It's a kind of cyber hygiene. Mainly I don't want people knowing my embarrassing history — it really is quite cringe. And those posts around the college entrance exam are pretty embarrassing too. I'll just keep those for myself. ![Archiving Posts - 1](/images/thoughts/archive-old-posts-1.jpeg) ![Archiving Posts - 2](/images/thoughts/archive-old-posts-2.png) ![Archiving Posts - 3](/images/thoughts/archive-old-posts-3.png)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"Gone with the Wind","url":"/en/2026/05/25/gone-with-the-wind/","date":"2026-05-25","content":"The past drifts away like smoke. The past drifts away like smoke. ![Gone with the Wind](/images/thoughts/wang-shi-ru-yan.png)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"Almost Bought a Course from an Economics & Finance Livestream","url":"/en/2026/05/23/almost-bought-an-economics-finance-livestream-course/","date":"2026-05-23","content":"The author listened to an economics and finance livestream that was also selling courses and memberships. Despite knowing the sales pitch, the content hit a nerve and almost led to a 200+ yuan monthly subscription. This led to a reflection: in today's market, those who earn more than just a subsistence wage tend to have capital, connections, family wealth, good looks, or eloquence. The piece ends with skepticism toward the AI egalitarian narrative: what looks like opportunity for ordinary people may just turn them into sharecroppers under a new tool hierarchy. Tonight I listened to an economics and finance livestream — the kind that sells courses and memberships. I almost signed up. I rarely pay attention to sales pitches, but this one hit the right nerve. For a moment I was seriously considering joining at 200-something yuan a month. Then I checked my wallet and thought better of it. Not there yet. 😭 But one thing they said was spot on: in today's market, the people who actually earn more than just enough to get by tend to have one or more of these — capital, high cognition (a fancy degree plus knowing how to monetize it), connections above, family wealth below, good looks, or silver-tongued eloquence. 🤔 Some say AI gives ordinary people more opportunity — a great equalizer. But in the end, ordinary people just become sharecroppers under a new feudal system, working for the landlord, paying tribute on schedule. The GPU clusters and the electricity to run them don't belong to ordinary people. ![Economics & Finance Livestream](/images/thoughts/economic-finance-livestream-course.jpeg)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"Night Flight","url":"/en/2026/05/20/night-flight/","date":"2026-05-20","content":"![Night Flight](https://i.mji.rip/2026/05/21/4f841a28ff3ae11eeae376df57c4b7be.jpeg) A photo I took that I really like — a night flight. That flight was nearly empty; I had an entire row to myself. In the night sky I could see the moon flying alongside me, distant stars below, streams of traffic on the ground with roads crossing in glowing lines, all set against the dim cabin light. It felt strangely magical.","tags":[],"categories":["相册"]},{"title":"Leisure Is a Scarce Resource","url":"/en/2026/05/19/leisure-is-a-scarce-resource/","date":"2026-05-19","content":"The author sees short videos as a quick fix dispensed to busy modern people, and from the scene of even young children scrolling Douyin on the street draws a conclusion: **what is truly scarce is not entertainment, but leisure.** Most people equate leisure with a few red-circled dates on the calendar, yet lose their composure to an \"internalized social clock.\" Short videos bring an \"alienation of relaxation\" — surface-level unwinding that keeps the brain perpetually stimulated and unable to truly rest. The essay touches on Zhang Xuefeng's fall from grace, the appeal of minimalism, and closes with the author's favorite scene — a rainy day in high school, a desk lamp, a book — ending on the note of \"protect body and mind, learn to relax.\" Honestly, I've always felt that short videos are nothing more than a prescription for busy modern people — for those whose days are packed with routine and who only manage to steal a breath in the cracks. They offer a moment's comfort, or fill a sudden emptiness. But the other day, when I saw even young children on the street absorbed in Douyin, it struck me that in a few more years, that traditional, unhurried way of spending leisure time might disappear altogether. \"Leisure is a scarce resource.\" Many people rush from dawn to dusk with no leisure at all. Leisure is a state of mind, one that most people don't have. Or rather, for most people, leisure is just those few red-circled dates on the calendar. Short videos are an \"alienation of relaxation.\" Scrolling through them looks like unwinding, but it keeps the brain in a constant state of stimulation and prevents true rest. I've always preferred words. When I have free time, I like to find a quiet corner, put on my headphones, and watch a long driving video set to vaporwave music. It may not stimulate the senses the way short videos do, but it lets you gradually relax in a slow, flowing current. As the saying goes, leisure is a scarce resource. These days, many people feel swallowed by enormous anxiety even when they've done nothing all day, simply because they dare not be idle — they've internalized a social clock. I used to be the same, but lately I've been learning to embrace leisure, to take care of my health, to listen to ambient and chill music and let my mind unwind. Zhang Xuefeng seems to have fallen from his pedestal recently. Not surprising — he was elevated to the top and has now come crashing down. The higher you're carried, the harder you fall. He himself has gone from a beacon of hope to a target for venting when that hope shattered. He, too, is probably someone pushed along by involution, someone who never had leisure. In the current climate, no matter how hard an individual struggles, they still have to consider the course of history and forces far grander than any one person. I thought about writing more, but after turning the idea over, I let it go. Enough about Zhang Xuefeng. Lately I've also been drawn to minimalism. \"Less is more.\" Strip away the clutter of material possessions and redundant information, gather your energy, and focus on yourself. Admire and experience those minimalist designs and works, and savor that indescribable, ethereal, wonderful feeling. Having said all this, perhaps I still believe that in times of uncertainty, beyond guarding your financial baseline and avoiding reckless leverage, the most important thing is to protect your body and mind — to learn to relax and recharge. I often return to my favorite scene: a rainy day in high school, sitting alone in my room. Rain pattering outside the window, a desk lamp, a book. Fully at ease, fully relaxed, just sitting quietly, waiting for some moment of sudden insight.","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]},{"title":"Downgraded to OVHcloud's Cheapest US VPS-1","url":"/en/2026/05/19/ovhcloud-vps-1/","date":"2026-05-19","content":"A \"budget downgrade\" migration note: moving the blog backend to **OVHcloud's cheapest US VPS-1 (~$8/month)**. Specs: AMD EPYC-Genoa 4 cores, ~7.75 GiB RAM, 71.6 GiB disk, Ubuntu 26.04 LTS, with bench screenshots. Performance is debatable — the author's attitude is more \"it runs, that's enough.\" Budget downgrade — switched to OVHcloud's cheapest US VPS-1. Performance is debatable, but it's only eight bucks. --- **SYSTEM INFO — THANKS TO ALL OPEN SOURCE PROJECTS —** | Item | Info | |------|------| | CPU Model | AMD EPYC-Genoa Processor | | CPU Cores | 4 | | CPU Frequency | 3245.126 MHz | | CPU Cache | L1: 256.00 KB / L2: 2.00 MB / L3: 64.00 MB | | AES-NI | ✔ Enabled | | VM-x/AMD-V | ✔ Enabled | | Memory | 2.76 GiB / 7.75 GiB | | Swap | [no swap partition or swap file detected] | | Disk | 24.00 GiB / 71.60 GiB | | Boot Disk | /dev/sda1 | | Uptime | 0 days, 1 hour 34 min | | Load | 2.31, 2.23, 2.44 | | OS | Ubuntu 26.04 LTS (x86_64) | ![ovhcloud-vps-1](/images/thoughts/ovhcloud-vps-1.png)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"The Complete Giffgaff UK SIM Card Guide","url":"/en/2026/05/17/the-complete-giffgaff-uk-sim-card-guide/","date":"2026-05-17","content":"An end-to-end practical guide to giffgaff UK SIM cards, written for anyone who needs a long-term overseas phone number without paying Google Voice prices. The core takeaway: **giffgaff Pay as you go is currently the most cost-effective offshore number-keeping solution** — no ID required, zero monthly fees, free incoming texts, and keeping a number active costs roughly ¥5 (≈$0.70) per year. Coverage: - **Card type**: Blank vs pre-loaded, and why you should never use a virtual credit card - **Activation & top-up**: Use PAYG on the official site (ignore the default monthly plans), address field accepts Chinese pinyin - **Receiving verification codes for overseas apps**: Practical tips for ChatGPT, WhatsApp, Telegram, etc. - **Number-keeping strategy**: One text every 6 months; £10 balance can theoretically last 25 years - **Advanced**: Converting to eSIM, changing numbers, enabling WiFi Calling domestically Works as a reference manual for \"long-term maintenance of a UK number.\" **For legal code-receiving and personal communication only — do not use for fraud.** ## Foreword To register for overseas services like ChatGPT, WhatsApp, or Telegram from within China, you need a foreign phone number to receive verification codes. Google Voice is expensive and prone to reclamation; virtual code-receiving platforms tighten their risk controls year after year. After weighing the options, a physical giffgaff SIM card from the UK is probably the most cost-effective path — no ID required, no monthly fees, incoming texts are completely free, and keeping a number alive for a year costs only about five yuan. This article covers activation, top-up, number-keeping, tariffs, registering overseas apps, switching to eSIM, and changing your number. --- ## 1. What Is giffgaff? giffgaff is a UK low-cost mobile virtual network operator riding on O2, one of the UK's three major carriers. Founded in 2009, it has no physical stores and no phone-based customer service — everything runs through the website and app. Operating costs are squeezed low, and so is the price for users. ![giffgaff Introduction and Features](/images/giffgaff/giffgaff-intro-features.png) ### Why Choose It - Issues a real UK physical number, not a virtual number range — regarded as \"clean\" by major platforms - Supports eSIM; devices from 2021 onwards can self-convert in the official app - Supports WiFi Calling (calling and texting over WiFi instead of cellular; available natively in the UK; can be enabled domestically with a UK IP or routing rules, but requires being physically in the UK) - Choose Pay as you go — zero monthly fees, no fixed charges whatsoever - No ID required; just fill in any non-duplicate Chinese pinyin address when topping up with official vouchers - Incoming texts are completely free — this is the card's primary use case in China: receiving verification codes at zero cost - Roaming works in China on China Mobile or China Unicom towers - Number-keeping cost is extremely low: send one text every six months to trigger a balance change; a £10 (~¥90) top-up can theoretically keep the number alive for 25 years ### Blank Cards vs Pre-loaded Cards Giffgaff cards available on the market come in two types: | Card Type | Description | |-----------|-------------| | Blank card | A brand-new unactivated card with no balance and no phone number. You must top up at least £10 (~¥90) with a VISA or MasterCard to activate it | | Pre-loaded card | The seller tops up £15 (~¥135) and activates it on the day of purchase. Insert the card and use it directly — no personal information required | ![Blank Card vs Pre-loaded Card](/images/giffgaff/giffgaff-card-types.png) --- ## 2. Activation and Top-up Strictly follow local laws and regulations. Do not use this card for telecom fraud or spam messaging — you bear all consequences. ### What to Prepare Before Activation 1. A giffgaff SIM card with a 6-digit Activation Code printed on it 2. A credit or debit card with a VISA or MasterCard logo — UnionPay, JCB, and American Express are not accepted 3. Never use a virtual credit card. It may occasionally succeed, but easily triggers risk controls; if the card is locked and funds frozen, the loss far outweighs the gain 4. At least £10 in top-up budget If you don't have a suitable foreign-currency card, you can use an activation proxy service. ### Activation Process The logic is simple: top up £10 (~¥90), the system assigns you a random UK phone number, insert the card and you're good to go. 1. Open [giffgaff.com/activate](https://www.giffgaff.com/activate), enter the 6-digit code from your card, click Activate your SIM 2. Enter your email, set a password, click Register 3. Choose a plan — this step is critical: the page pushes a bunch of monthly plans. Ignore them, scroll to the bottom to find Pay as you go (pay-per-use, no monthly fee), select it and click Continue 4. Select £10 (~¥90) as the top-up amount — this is the minimum activation threshold — click Pay now 5. Fill in personal info: name in pinyin is fine; for the address, select China as the country so you don't need to verify a UK address; just write your domestic address in pinyin in the street field 6. Enter your card details, tick the agreement box, click Place order. Some banks will redirect to a 3DS verification page — just wait for it to load 7. After payment, the page shows your assigned UK number and balance. If you see \"extra £5 credit,\" the new-user bonus has also arrived ![Activation Steps Screenshot](/images/giffgaff/giffgaff-activation-steps.jpeg) After activation, wait for a signal — usually less than an hour, but it can take up to a day. When your phone picks up a China Mobile or China Unicom signal after inserting the card, activation is confirmed. --- ## 3. Mainland China Roaming Tariffs Giffgaff's roaming in China falls under the \"Rest of the World\" bracket, with no monthly plan applying — everything is deducted from your account balance. | Service | Tariff | Approx. CNY | Notes | |---------|--------|-------------|-------| | Incoming texts | Free | Free | The card's primary use in China — receive verification codes at no cost | | Outgoing texts | 30p/text | ~¥2.7/text | For number-keeping texts and occasional verification code sending | | Outgoing MMS | 30p/text | ~¥2.7/text | Sending pictures to UK/EU; other regions 24p (~¥2.2) — use WeChat/WhatsApp instead | | Incoming calls | £1/min | ~¥9/min | Per-minute billing; avoid answering unless necessary | | Outgoing calls | £1/min | ~¥9/min | Same rate for calls to China, UK, and voicemail | | Mobile data | 20p/MB | ~¥1.8/MB | Works out to £200/GB, i.e., ~¥1800/GB. Turn off data roaming without fail | ![Roaming Rates Screenshot](/images/giffgaff/giffgaff-roaming-rates.png) Exchange rate reference: 100 pence (p) = £1; £1 ≈ ¥9. \"~¥\" throughout the article refers to approximate CNY equivalents. ### Charged £0.01 (~¥0.09) After Activation? This is normal. When the SIM first registers on a domestic network, the phone sends a tiny handshake data packet — a few KB of data triggers a charge of 1p (~¥0.09). This only happens once; it won't recur after you turn off data roaming. --- ## 4. Four Things to Do Immediately with a New Card ### First: Disable Voicemail Giffgaff has voicemail enabled by default. Calls you don't answer are automatically forwarded to it and billed at £1/min (~¥9/min) — even if you never listen to the message. **Method 1**: Dial `##002#` from the dialer. This is the standard approach, but it often fails while roaming in mainland China, showing \"connection error\" or \"invalid MMI code.\" **Method 2** (Recommended): Contact customer support. Log in at [giffgaff.com/support/ask](https://www.giffgaff.com/support/ask), select Category: Account misuse and security issues → Other, and paste this into the description box: > Hi team, I am unable to disable my voicemail via the code ##002# while roaming. I have tried multiple times but failed. Please assist me in disabling the voicemail feature from the system end to avoid roaming charges. Thank you! Then click Send to agent. Support typically handles it within 24 hours and notifies you by email. After it's disabled, test by calling yourself — if you get \"number not available,\" it worked; if you reach voicemail, it hasn't been disabled yet. **Method 3**: Some users report that `##002#` works when WiFi Calling is enabled, but this only applies when you're physically in the UK with a valid plan or balance. It essentially doesn't work in China. ### Second: iPhone Users — Do NOT Activate iMessage and FaceTime After inserting the card, iOS will prompt you to activate both. You must tap Cancel. While activation itself is free, the phone sends a silent SMS to UK servers, which costs £0.30 (~¥2.7). ### Third: Turn Off Data Roaming Disable data roaming for this card in your phone settings. Roaming data is £200/GB; any background app leaking a little data can cost several pounds in seconds. ### Fourth: Understand the Number Format This is the most common source of confusion for new users: | Scenario | Format | Example | |----------|--------|---------| | Logging into giffgaff website or app | 07xxxxxxxxx — keep the leading 0 | 07547123456 | | Registering for overseas apps (Telegram, WhatsApp, etc.) | +44 7xxxxxxxxx — drop the leading 0 | +44 7547123456 | --- ## 5. Number-Keeping Guide: The 180-Day Rule Giffgaff numbers have zero monthly fees but are not permanently valid. The terms are clear: if a card has no balance activity for 180 consecutive days, the number is frozen, then deactivated, and the balance is forfeited — unrecoverable. ### What Counts as Balance Activity Valid actions (any one suffices): 1. Send a text — the cheapest option, only £0.30 (~¥2.7) 2. Make a phone call (must connect) 3. Use mobile data, even just 1KB 4. Top up your account, minimum £10 (~¥90) Invalid actions: - Logging into the website or app — no balance change, doesn't count - Receiving texts only — incoming texts are free, no balance change - Browsing via WiFi — that goes through WiFi, unrelated to giffgaff balance ### The Cheapest Number-Keeping Method Every 5 months, manually send one text. To anyone — even your own domestic number. Each text costs £0.30 (~¥2.7); twice a year is £0.60 (~¥5.4). A £10 (~¥90) top-up can theoretically keep your number alive for 16 years. ### How to Check Your Number-Keeping Deadline 1. Log in at [giffgaff.com/orders/history](https://www.giffgaff.com/orders/history), click View, find the date of your most recent charge or top-up 2. Count forward 170 days from that date (leaving a 10-day buffer), and set a recurring reminder in your phone's calendar ### Don't Be Fooled by the \"3 Months Until Expiry\" on the Dashboard The bottom of the official site often shows text like \"Free giffgaff to giffgaff calls and texts expire on [date]\" — that's a countdown for the free intra-network calling perk, which has nothing to do with number-keeping. As long as you have balance and activity within 180 days, your number will not be deactivated. That red date is purely a scare tactic. ### What If You Forget to Keep the Number Active **Warning period**: About a week before the 180-day mark, giffgaff sends a warning email to your registered address. Send a text immediately after seeing it to reset the 180-day clock. **Frozen period**: If you exceed 180 days with no activity, the number may already be frozen. Try topping up £10 (~¥90) immediately — if the top-up succeeds, the number can usually be recovered. If the top-up fails, the number has been reclaimed and cannot be recovered. --- ## 6. Resetting Your Password and Changing Your Email ### Resetting Your Password 1. Open [giffgaff.com/auth/login](https://www.giffgaff.com/auth/login), click Forgot your password 2. Select the Phone number method, click Next 3. Enter your number using the UK domestic format starting with 07 (e.g., 07547123456) 4. Don't know your number? Send a text with `NUMBER` to `43430` from the phone with the card inserted — you'll get a reply in seconds 5. Select Text message verification, click Send a reset link 6. Click the link in the text and set a new password ### Changing Your Registered Email Giffgaff's notifications — low balance, roaming alerts, password resets — all go to your email. It's a good idea to link one of your commonly used domestic email addresses. 1. Log in at [giffgaff.com/profile/details](https://www.giffgaff.com/profile/details), click Profile and settings 2. In Personal details, find My email, click Open → Change email 3. The system asks for your current password to verify your identity — so reset your password first if needed 4. Enter your new email address, click Update email 5. Go to the new email, retrieve the verification code (6 digits), click Confirm QQ Mail, NetEase 163/126, Alibaba Cloud Mail, and other mainstream Chinese email providers can all receive giffgaff emails. Using a VPN to access the official site is recommended — otherwise the verification code may fail to load. --- ## 7. Registering for Overseas Apps Giffgaff is a native UK physical number with a high success rate for registering overseas services. As long as your network environment isn't flagged, the vast majority of overseas apps can be registered smoothly. ### Number Format Rules Regardless of which app you register, select United Kingdom (+44) as the country/region, and enter 10 digits in the number field — drop the leading 0. For example, if your number is 07547123456, enter 7547123456 in the app. ### Troublesome Apps **Telegram** Not receiving verification codes and \"too many attempts\" messages are common issues. Key points: first-time registration must be done via the mobile app, not desktop or web; don't switch proxy nodes frequently; many China-market Android phones have GMS (Google Mobile Services) stripped out, and Telegram sometimes delivers codes through Google's channel — use an iPhone or an Android phone with full GMS installed for more reliable results. **LINE** LINE has extremely strict risk controls with high demands on IP purity; ordinary proxy nodes are often flagged as risky. If you can't receive a code through any proxy node, try briefly enabling giffgaff's data roaming to register using native UK data — but be quick: first disable network access for all background apps (keep only LINE), then enable data roaming and tap send verification code, and immediately turn off data roaming once the code arrives. Roaming data is £0.20/MB (~¥1.8/MB); if background apps aren't blocked, several pounds (~¥9+) can be deducted in seconds. **TikTok** Easily identified as a Chinese user. Solution: insert only the giffgaff card, remove your domestic China Mobile/Unicom/Telecom card; set phone language to English and timezone to London; avoid Hong Kong and Taiwan proxy nodes — use US, Singapore, or UK nodes. **WeChat Account Transfer** In theory you can rebind a domestic WeChat account to a giffgaff number, but after rebinding the account migrates to the international server — health code, facial recognition and similar interfaces may break, and RMB wallet and financial features become unusable. Don't attempt this unless you fully understand the consequences. ### Apps You Can Register | Category | App | Notes | |----------|-----|-------| | AI/Tools | ChatGPT / OpenAI | Requires system-wide proxy | | | Apple ID | Good choice for a UK-region account | | | Microsoft Outlook | | | Social/Messaging | WhatsApp | Verification code arrives instantly | | | Telegram | Android: watch out for GMS issues | | | Facebook / Messenger | | | | Twitter (X) | | | | Instagram | | | | Signal | | | Finance/E-commerce | PayPal (UK) | Needed for UK-region PayPal registration | | | WISE | Cross-border money transfer | | | Amazon (UK) | | | | Monzo / Revolut | Requires UK address proof | ### Apps That Are Difficult to Register - Oldubil — Turkish virtual bank with an unstable system and low code-receiving success rate - Potato — A crypto-community messaging app, delisted from Google Play; unreliable code reception - Some domestic banking apps — reserved phone numbers don't accept foreign numbers --- ## 8. Converting Physical SIM to eSIM Giffgaff launched eSIM support in 2023, and after two years of iteration, physical-to-eSIM conversion and eSIM device transfers through the official app are now smooth. ### Prerequisites 1. Phone must support eSIM — China-market phones don't support eSIM regardless of brand. US, Japanese, or European versions are required 2. You must have an already-activated giffgaff physical card — eSIMs can't generate a number from scratch; they must be converted from a physical card 3. A stable proxy environment throughout; system-wide mode recommended with a UK or US node ### Conversion Steps The old physical card becomes invalid immediately during conversion, so ensure a stable network before starting and back up important data in advance. 1. Download the latest giffgaff app, log in, tap Account → SIM 2. Tap Replace my SIM → Switch to a new eSIM 3. Accept the agreement, confirm → tap Install eSIM - Android phones will directly show the system eSIM installation screen - iPhone may auto-redirect or provide a QR code or activation code 4. Wait for signal recovery. As fast as 30 minutes; at most one day ### Possible Errors | Error Message | Cause | Solution | |---------------|-------|----------| | System busy / Service unavailable | eSIM service has a daily maintenance window, or your proxy node is unstable | Switch nodes, or try a different time (Beijing time afternoon or evening usually works) | | Device not supported | Phone model is too old (early eSIM devices like Pixel 4, iPhone XR occasionally have compatibility issues) | Update the system to the latest version; if that fails, use a newer phone | ### What to Do When You Get a New Phone eSIMs can't be popped out and inserted into another phone like physical cards. The process is the same as the initial conversion: download the giffgaff app on the new phone, log in, Account → SIM → Replace my SIM → Switch to a new eSIM. The old phone's eSIM automatically deactivates, and the new phone downloads a fresh eSIM profile. ### eSIM Backup Phones Under ¥2000 If you're buying a dedicated backup phone for giffgaff, you don't need to spend much: | Model | Approx. Used Price | Pros | Things to Watch | |-------|-------------------|------|-----------------| | iPhone SE 3 (2022) | ¥800-1200 | A15 chip, single SIM + eSIM, perfect as backup | Small screen, average battery | | iPhone 12 / 12 mini | ¥1000-1400 | Full screen, MagSafe support | US iPhone 12 has decent 5G signal | | iPhone 13 mini | ¥1600-1900 | Last small flagship, better battery than 12 mini | A bit pricey | | Google Pixel 6 / 6a | ¥700-900 | Cheap, good eSIM compatibility, clean OS | Tensor chip runs hot, signal is mediocre | | Google Pixel 7 / 7a | ¥1200-1600 | Improved thermics, strong camera | Domestic 5G requires tinkering | | Samsung S21 / S22 | ¥1000-1500 | Good screen and build quality | Confirm the model supports eSIM | | Rakuten Hand 5G | ¥200-300 | Absurdly cheap, eSIM only (no SIM slot) | Very weak performance, code-receiving only | When buying, confirm two things: whether it supports eSIM, and whether it's carrier-unlocked. Locked phones with turbo SIMs are extremely problematic or unusable with eSIM. On Xianyu or Taobao, include version keywords in your search, e.g., \"iPhone SE3 US version unlocked.\" --- ## 9. Changing Your Number Giffgaff numbers are randomly assigned upon activation and cannot be chosen. You might encounter two issues: the number has too many \"4\"s (which feels unlucky), or the previous owner of the number abused it, causing WhatsApp or Telegram to report the number as already registered. Giffgaff gives each account two number-change opportunities, usually free. ### Before Changing - The card must be activated - You must know your account password - A system-wide proxy is recommended - Number changes are irreversible — the old number is immediately voided and cannot be recovered - The new number is still randomly assigned, though in practice second-time assignments tend to be better - Signal will be lost during the change — as short as 30 minutes, as long as 4 hours ### Steps 1. Log in at [giffgaff.com/profile/details/getnumber](https://www.giffgaff.com/profile/details/getnumber) 2. Click Get a new giffgaff number 3. Enter your password to confirm identity, click Change my number 4. The page redirects to show your new number; phone signal will temporarily disappear 5. Turn the phone off, wait 30 minutes, then turn it back on. Or restart/toggle airplane mode once per hour — signal usually recovers within 4 hours ### After Changing - Log out of the giffgaff app and log back in to ensure it displays the new number - Important services registered with the old number (banks, WeChat, etc.) must be unbound before the change — the change takes effect immediately and the old number is no longer yours - If you're still not satisfied with the new number and haven't used both chances, you can change again, but don't do it in quick succession — it can trigger risk controls --- ## 10. Frequently Asked Questions ### Number Format **Q: Website keeps saying my number format is wrong?** Use the UK domestic format (07 prefix, keep the leading 0, 11 digits total) for logging into the giffgaff website and app. Use the international format (+44 prefix, drop the leading 0) for registering with overseas apps. **Q: Don't remember your number?** Send a text with `NUMBER` to `43430` — you'll receive a reply in seconds. You can also check on the Dashboard homepage or in the app. **Q: Is ID verification required?** No. UK prepaid SIMs currently do not require ID registration. ### Signal and Texting **Q: No service after inserting the card?** On first insertion, the phone uploads data for roaming registration — wait 1 to 5 minutes. If there's still no signal after a long time, manually select a carrier in phone settings: Mobile Network → Network Selection → turn off Auto → manually select China Mobile or China Unicom. Restarting the phone is the most reliable fix. **Q: Not receiving app registration verification codes?** Usually not a card issue. Either the proxy node is low-quality or risk-flagged; or the registration method is wrong (e.g., Telegram requires mobile app registration); or an Android RCS channel issue — giffgaff increasingly sends codes via Google RCS, and domestic Android phones without full GMS may not receive them. Install Google Mobile Services or switch the card to an iPhone. **Q: Can't send texts or make calls?** First check your balance — texts cost £0.30 (~¥2.7) each, calls £1/min (~¥9). Then check the number format: add +86 before domestic Chinese numbers, add +44 before UK numbers and drop the leading 0. Also, texts to China Mobile numbers may be blocked by the anti-fraud system; Unicom and Telecom numbers have higher success rates. **Q: Can I use mobile data in China?** Roaming data costs £200/GB, roughly ¥1800. Turning off data roaming is an absolute must — otherwise several pounds can be deducted in seconds. ### Tariffs and Pitfalls **Q: Anything special iPhone users should watch out for?** After inserting the card, iOS prompts you to activate iMessage and FaceTime. Always tap Cancel. The consequence of tapping \"activate\" is that the phone sends an international SMS in the background, costing £0.30 (~¥2.7). **Q: How do I check my balance?** Dial `*100#` from the dialer and press call — it displays on screen immediately. --- ## 11. Quick Commands and Useful Links ### Phone Commands | Function | Command | |----------|---------| | Check your number | Send text `NUMBER` to `43430` | | Check balance | Dial `*100#` | | Disable voicemail | Dial `##002#` | | Enable voicemail | Dial `*61*443*10*20#` | | Default PIN | 5555 | The USSD codes above can all be dialed for free while roaming in China (except the voicemail disable code, which often doesn't work domestically). ### Useful Web Links | Function | URL | |----------|-----| | First-time activation | giffgaff.com/activate | | Login / Reset password | giffgaff.com/auth/login | | Dashboard (check balance and number) | giffgaff.com/dashboard | | Top up | giffgaff.com/top-up | | Usage statement | giffgaff.com/profile/usage-statement | | Profile | giffgaff.com/profile/details | | Change number | giffgaff.com/profile/details/getnumber | | PUK code lookup | giffgaff.com/help/articles/i-blocked-my-sim-what-can-i-do | | Report lost / Replace SIM | giffgaff.com/support/lost/sim | | Customer support | giffgaff.com/support/ask | --- ## Quick Reference Card | Item | Key Point | |------|-----------| | Check number | Send text `NUMBER` to `43430` | | Check balance | Dial `*100#` | | Number-keeping | Send one text every 180 days, cost £0.30 (~¥2.7) | | Domestic roaming | Incoming texts free, outgoing texts £0.30 (~¥2.7), data £200/GB (~¥1800/GB) | | New card essentials | Choose Pay as you go (no monthly fee); disable data roaming; tap Cancel on iOS prompt; dial `##002#` to disable voicemail | | Number format | Login: 07xxx (drop +44); App registration: +44 7xxx (drop 0) | | Website entry | giffgaff.com/dashboard |","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]},{"title":"The Campus Cell Tower Is Insanely Fast","url":"/en/2026/05/15/the-campus-cell-tower-is-insanely-fast/","date":"2026-05-15","content":"The campus cell tower is a beast — **5G-A hitting 105 MB/s on a Hong Kong IP**, everything loads instantly. A simple感叹: \"China Telecom, you are truly great.\" Holy cow, the campus cell tower is insanely fast. 5G-A connecting to Hong Kong, 105 MB/s — I'm shocked. China Telecom, you are truly great. Everything loads instantly. ![5ga-speed](/images/thoughts/5ga-speed.jpeg)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"The Pride of Low Living Costs","url":"/en/2026/05/15/the-pride-of-low-living-costs/","date":"2026-05-15","content":"Starting from \"a few coins to send a delivery rider upstairs,\" the author unpacks everyday consumption: on the surface lies the pride of \"low living costs,\" but behind it is a **labor chain obscured by abstract terms like \"one-tap order.\"** Knowledge workers face price deflation after the Lewis turning point; in developed countries the parallel is Baumol's cost disease. **Human labor is not an industrial product** — a cheap TV is economies of scale, but three hours of cheap human labor can only mean that person's time is worthless. The conclusion: as both consumer and worker, it is understandable to feel no sympathy for those blinded by survivorship bias. Low living costs are perhaps the only thing we, as consumers, can take pride in. A few coins can send a fresh-graduate delivery rider to fetch your food, sometimes even up the stairs. But then I think — what if I were that rider? Modern commercial society is skilled at hiding the production process. The mechanisms laid out before us — slash-a-price deals, rock-bottom pricing — and abstract terms like \"one-tap order\" and \"lightning-fast delivery\" paper over an entire labor chain. A single food delivery involves the labor of multiple producers — sourcing, processing, packaging by the merchant, and finally the delivery rider — all for just a handful of yuan. When these producers earn their meager pay and come home from work, they too enjoy the proxy power that money grants in a consumer society, spending just as little to order someone else to make coffee and deliver it to their door. This is why consumption feels comfortable: \"the customer is king\" grants you a brief, lofty sense of power, erasing the pain you felt on the production side. After the traditional blue-collar Lewis turning point was crossed, the mass expansion of higher education created a new labor reservoir in white-collar and knowledge work. Compounded by the rise of AI, wages for intellectual labor have been suppressed, and university graduates have seen their bargaining power severely diminished — left to fight over scarce resources and spiral into involution. As long as there is a steady stream of people willing to accept lower hourly wages just to survive, companies have no incentive to raise compensation or upgrade. In developed countries, the expense of plumbers and manual labor is the classic Baumol cost disease. Right now the bottom-tier labor pool is deep and costs remain cheap. If a region's service industry stays dirt-cheap, it means the area's overall wage level has not been effectively lifted, or that a large pool of lower-tier workers cannot enter higher-paying industries and can only cannibalize each other in the low-end service sector. Human labor cannot be equated with industrial goods. A TV is cheap because of industrial automation, technological upgrading, and economies of scale; but three hours of a person's labor being dirt-cheap can only mean that person's time is worthless. It means the devaluation of a person's time and dignity. Most people are both consumers and workers. For those blinded by survivorship bias, it is understandable that others find it hard to sympathize.","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"A Fun University Life Galgame","url":"/en/2026/05/15/a-fun-university-life-galgame/","date":"2026-05-15","content":"The author had a sudden idea to make a **\"University Life Galgame\"**: starting from the last gaokao exam, score release, major selection, and college admission — the classic opening — then branching into grad school prep, civil service exams, and more. The to-do list grows: reading, writing a new math book, building a study tool, the university galgame, and a wilderness survival game. Character art already looks promising — will work on it when there's time. A fun university life galgame. Act One starts with the end of the last gaokao exam, then the score release — still deciding whether to make it random or manual input, with adjustable stats — then filling in your college applications based on scores and the year's admission cutoffs. From there, the classic galgame university life opens up with various routes: grad school track, civil service track, and so on. Things I want to do +1 Current to-do and ongoing projects: - Reading and studying; - Writing a new math book; - Building a study tool; - University campus life galgame; - Wilderness survival game~ Will work on it when I have time, haha. The character art looks pretty good~ ![galgame-1](/images/thoughts/galgame-1.jpeg) ![galgame-2](/images/thoughts/galgame-2.jpeg)","tags":[],"categories":["随想"]},{"title":"Limited Liability and the Free Life","url":"/en/2026/05/09/limited-liability-and-the-free-life/","date":"2026-05-09","content":"The author lays out the central tension of being nineteen: **on one side, family members press hopes and responsibilities onto him — an unemployed father, a mother doing odd jobs, a distant relative whose financial support comes with an expectation of future care; on the other, he simply wants to be a \"layabout,\" living freely.** The essay lists the hardships of each benefactor, acknowledging that their goodwill is laced with expectations of future return. He admits that all he wants is a rented room, a desk lamp, the quiet comfort of listening to rain at dawn. In the \"Freedom\" section, he recalls deliberately choosing a university thousands of miles away by plane — to get further from the cage that confined him. In the \"Romance\" section, he says he prefers solitude, doesn't miss home, and isn't good at responding to others. The conclusion is light: *what matters is not where you return to, but whether you can live freely, hear your own heart, and find a little comfort in an undisturbed life.* The greatest contradiction in my life right now, I suppose, comes down to two things: one is that my family places both hope and responsibility on my shoulders; the other is that I myself just want to be a free spirit — carefree, doing as I please, not even taking tomorrow too seriously. It's almost laughable. I live on just a few hundred yuan a month, yet people keep sending me money. Among my relatives, some regularly send me red packets. It would be one thing if they were well off — but they aren't. Some ran failed businesses, drowning in debt, battling their credit scores day after day, switching between Alipay and WeChat accounts. Others lost money in the stock market, trapped with no way out. None of them are flush, yet they still carve out a little from their own hardship to give to me. The one I'm in frequent contact with is really only one person. A relative supported me financially in the past, but this one — she's both closer to me and worse off, yet she's given the most. My feelings toward her are rather particular. I've seen a lot of her since I was small; our ties run deep. She married a man in middle age who turned out to be unreliable. They had a daughter, but eventually split up. Apparently the man was in bad shape, and she wasn't much better. So the child stayed with her, and the divorce went through. That girl is in middle school now. I think she's been through more trauma than I have in my entire life. And the truth is, I don't hold out much hope for her future. The reason my relative supported me — and before that, my brother — wasn't pure, selfless charity. At the end of the day, she's hoping I'll be able to look after her child someday. To put it bluntly: she wants me to take care of things when the time comes. During the last Spring Festival, another relative came to tell me I should shoulder my responsibilities. \"Your dad's unemployed, your mom does odd jobs — things aren't great. You should go out and work part-time, earn some pocket money.\" I didn't know what to say, so I just kept nodding. For the future, I'd rather live freely — never mind how well. If I could have a small rented room, size doesn't matter: a bed, a computer, a phone, headphones, a little desk, and a small bathroom. Ideally with a window, so that in the small hours of the morning I can sit with headphones on, bathed in the faint glow of a desk lamp, gazing out at the view beyond the window. When I was in high school and had time off, I loved sitting in my little room in the dead of night, reading an e-book by lamplight while rain fell outside. That's why I'm so drawn to that feeling of comfort. Perhaps it's a way of escaping reality, but I'm nineteen now — an adult — and it's only right that I dream about my future life. I'd like to reduce contact with my family, maintain limited liability. After all, my presence was never very strong, and there's no shortage of people in my family more capable than me. Could I really compare myself to someone who went to Shanghai Jiao Tong University and then furthered their studies in Hong Kong? The pursuit of freedom began in high school. I worked so hard back then partly because of the expectations placed on me by teachers and family, but also because I held a hopeful vision of a better future inside. So when filling in my college application, I chose a place that takes hours to reach by plane — not Hunan, Sichuan, or Guangdong — because I wanted to go somewhere further from the cage that had confined me. Even though it meant truly living on my own, I believed the cost of adjustment was worth it. I just needed to be a bit more self-reliant. Lately another thing has been bothering me: they keep hinting that I should start dating, and that I should dress better. It's not that I've never had feelings or never been in a relationship. Someone even pursued me once. The awkward part was that I didn't know how to respond, and I ended up disappointing her. That was back in middle school. In those days people were mostly judged by their grades, and I was among the best — mild-tempered, no bad habits — so it was natural that someone liked me. I knew who liked me and I knew who I liked, but in the end I was too timid, and nothing came of it. Still, it left me with a few good memories. As for now, I think I still prefer being alone, enjoying my own company. I don't feel much attachment to my hometown either. Others feel homesick; I'm usually indifferent. For me, what matters is not where I return to, but whether I can live freely, whether I can be a little happier, whether I can feel my own existence, hear my own heart, and find a little comfort in an undisturbed life. That's all there is to it.","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]},{"title":"My Favorite Midnight Again — I'll Sleep After This One","url":"/en/2026/04/29/midnight-then-sleep/","date":"2026-04-29","content":"A midnight confession. **The author admits he loves reading and writing power-fantasy stories, yet cannot write one for his own life** — his family scrapes by, relatives have bankrolled tens of thousands in tuition and living expenses, and he has a premonition it will \"probably be a Bad Ending.\" He is glad this awareness came in college rather than middle school; otherwise every goal he set back then would now seem laughable. The Normal Ending he imagines for himself is light: *rent a small room far from everyone who has ever known him, and live that quiet life of listening to rain at dawn — preferably so his family forgets they ever had a second child.* The whole piece is a calm weariness: no crying, no fuss, just laying out the fact that he has already done his best to change the trajectory of his life.* I actually like reading power-fantasy stories, and I like writing them too, but when it comes to my own life, I really can't write one. I just feel like my life is heading for a Bad Ending. It can't be that my family is scraping by with odd jobs, going into debt to put me through school — even though relatives have chipped in tens of thousands for tuition and living expenses — and I still end up with no good job and no future. It can't be that every day feels empty, boring, depressing, painful, and unfulfilling. It can't be that when I'm dragged out to have fun, the smile on my face is just forced. Fortunately, it wasn't until I got to university that I realized my life would probably end in a Bad Ending. If my younger self — before middle school — had known all this, that \"there's no hope of anything getting better,\" I would have fallen into an even deeper despair. So my mindset has changed. Every goal I set during my middle school years now seems somewhat laughable. If I went back, I probably wouldn't achieve such great results or become the good student and inspirational role model I was in the eyes of my classmates and teachers back then. My Normal Ending is: find a place far from anyone who has ever known me throughout my life, rent a small room, and live the life I've always talked about wanting. I wish my family could just forget about me, as if this second child never existed. Not in the family household, not in the wider clan — as if this person simply doesn't exist. After all, I'm a second child, and I've never felt very important growing up. I've never felt like I had any particular purpose. Sometimes I even feel like I'm just a burden. If my entire life, ever since I was sent away to be raised by others, was destined for a Bad Ending — well, I've already done everything in my power to change its trajectory.","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]},{"title":"The Age of Ding-Dong-Ji","url":"/en/2026/04/07/the-age-of-ding-dong-ji/","date":"2026-04-07","content":"An ordinary couple downstairs spent years saving up to buy their first car — a modest sedan they treated as proof that \"life finally has legs to walk on.\" **Then the age of \"Ding-Dong-Ji\" arrived**: debt, a child to raise, jobs lost after the years of masks. The car was driven less, then covered with a cloth gnawed by rats, then quietly sold off. From this small story the author draws a quiet truth about ordinary lives — *we think our feet are planted when we save up, and only learn the ground was empty when we lose. Hope is \"a thin layer, like window paper: poke it once, and it breaks.\"* When the ordinary couple who lived downstairs stood before the manager of a used-car lot, they were probably thinking back to the day, some years ago, when they drove a new car home. The sky had not been especially blue that day, nor the breeze especially soft, and yet their hearts had been bright, as if life had finally grown legs and might keep moving forward. \"Don't sell it,\" the woman said. \"Whatever happens, we can't sell it.\" She knew what it was. The car had cost only a few tens of thousands of yuan; it was not a good car by any measure. But for them it had never been only a few tens of thousands. Inside it were years of hard work, meal money saved bit by bit, new clothes left unbought, the soundless sighs that escaped over the household ledger late at night. In a family like theirs, that sum became frontage, respectability, proof that \"our family is still doing all right.\" Other families, especially the relatives who had done a little better for themselves, had long since owned cars. At New Year and on holidays, they parked downstairs and tossed the keys onto the table; even the way they spoke seemed louder than other people's. Only this couple had none. To have none was to seem a notch below. So they bought one too. The car was not expensive, but at least now there was a car. And once there was a car, there were smiles on their faces. I remember it was before the age of \"Ding-Dong-Ji.\" Back then they were wage earners, but life still looked proper enough. They went to Wanda often, ate meals that cost more than a hundred yuan, bought drinks at a dozen or so yuan apiece, and walked home slowly with their child. There were smiles on their faces. Then they bought the car. That small bit of hope seemed to reach its summit. It was as if from then on they, too, belonged among the people who were \"moving upward.\" The car stood downstairs without making a sound, and yet it had an air about it. For those few days, even the way they looked at other people was lighter, as though the hard years had truly fallen behind them. And then the age of \"Ding-Dong-Ji\" arrived. I went on passing their building every day. Whenever I walked past their car, I always turned back for one more look. At first there was nothing to notice. Later, little by little, I realized it was hardly driven anymore. After that I heard the family had fallen into debt, and there was a child to raise. After the years of masks, they had apparently lost their jobs as well. Later a cloth was thrown over the car. I heard it was to keep rats from chewing the wires. At first the cloth was whole. Later it, too, had been gnawed through in several places. The holes were not large, but I saw them every time. Later still, one day, I suddenly noticed that the car was gone. At first I thought it had simply been parked somewhere else. Parking downstairs was tight; moving a car now and then was ordinary enough. But a week passed, then two, then many weeks more, and the car never returned. Only then did I understand: it had probably been sold. In the end, it was sold. The couple went on living as before, going out as before, coming home as before, as if nothing had changed. Only the smiles were no longer much seen on their faces. It was not that they looked stricken all the time; they had merely gone wooden, faint, as if life had rubbed across them a few too many times and they no longer cared to let any expression show. That small brightness they once had was gone. I could not tell whether it was discouragement or fatigue. Every time I came home, I still could not help glancing over. I kept suspecting the car might return someday, stop there again, grey with dust and still counted as present. But it never came back. Only then did I feel that an ordinary life is mostly like this. One saves up a few things and thinks one's feet are planted; one loses a few things and learns that the ground underneath was empty all along. What we call hope is only a thin layer, like window paper: poke it once, and it breaks.","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]},{"title":"When a Small-Town Exam Taker Goes Home","url":"/en/2026/04/07/when-a-small-town-exam-taker-goes-home/","date":"2026-04-07","content":"A \"small-town exam taker\" is home for the holidays, seated at the children's edge of a village dinner table while relatives turn the world outside — schools, jobs, majors — into chatter to drink with. **When a \"985 / South China University of Technology / mechanical engineering\" is reduced to \"so it's just car repair, then\"**, the table laughs the prestigious diploma flat to the ground, levelling it with wrenches and motor oil so everyone can feel a little warmer. The gaze then turns on her: \"What's a humanities major *for*?\" — a question she cannot answer. From upstairs she hears someone weeping quietly, sharper than all the loud talk below. The piece reframes a homecoming as another examination: *what you studied, what it's worth, what you earn — all weighed; what you lost along the way, what you endured, what you once hoped for — never asked, and probably not really wanted to be known.* The road by which a small-town exam taker returns to her village is seldom smooth. The dirt road outside the village turns to mud whenever it rains; step into it and it gives a wet squelch, as if something were quietly biting at the heel. Mud is only mud: splashed onto a shoe, dried in the sun, brushed away, and it is mostly gone. The things people say in the village are not like that. Once words slip into the ear, they do not wash off so easily; often they keep going, settle in the heart, and stay there for days, sometimes longer. The dinner table, as usual, was lively. \"Lively\" only means that relatives who are not ordinarily recognizable suddenly took shape, crowding around one table and picking over other people's prospects, schooling, and jobs as though they were picking dishes from a plate. Many of them had probably never gone far beyond the village in all their lives; perhaps they had hardly been to the city a handful of times. So whenever they spoke of the world outside, they had to patch it together out of thin imaginations and secondhand scraps, like watching an opera through a crack in the door and thinking a glimpse of sleeve and hem is the whole play. The small-town exam taker, as usual, was not seated with the adults. She was mostly placed over with the children. That, in itself, was no great matter. She had never been especially skilled in the ways of social life; as for toasting, urging people to drink, smiling along, passing cigarettes, she was worse still. She did not smoke, and she did not drink. They say one harms the brain and the other harms the heart, and those happened to be the two things she still wanted to keep a little of. Yet she did not lose interest in listening, because the relatives always talked so loudly, soaked in drink, that there was no need to eavesdrop. The words came crashing into her ears by themselves. Halfway through the meal, for some reason, they began talking again about somebody else's child. \"He works for the government.\" \"Oh, a civil servant.\" \"Civil servants are good. Good benefits.\" These few lines were in Mandarin, so they could still be understood. Everything else was mostly in dialect, like rain beating on roof tiles: quick, sharp, and hard to make out one drop at a time. Then, in a blur, she caught the name of South China University of Technology, and it made her pay a little attention. She knew that name. The boy in question had once been her equal rival in elementary school. Later he had made it into South China University of Technology, and in science at that, which in the ears of the villagers made the whole matter worth chewing over again and again. Someone asked, \"Where is South China University of Technology?\" \"Guangdong.\" Someone else asked, \"What kind of school is it?\" \"A 985.\" At once everyone grew a little solemn. \"Oh, a 985. That's impressive.\" But in a village, \"impressive\" must finally come down to something concrete. So the direction of the talk turned again. \"What does he study, then?\" \"Seems like mechanics... anyway, something related to machinery.\" \"Machinery?\" someone burst out laughing. \"Isn't that just fixing cars and fixing machines?\" Another person took it up at once. \"I can do that! I may not have had much schooling, but the repair shop downstairs has been open for twenty years. What car haven't I seen fixed? So after all that college, isn't he still just fixing cars?\" Everyone laughed along. That laugh seemed to yank \"985\" straight down from the clouds and pin it to the ground beside wrenches, motor oil, and tire glue. A moment ago it had seemed unimaginably far away; now all at once it felt close, so close that everyone could claim a little share of it. If a \"985\" ended up fixing cars anyway, then wasn't a man who had fixed cars for decades even more \"985\" than a 985? By that logic, when the student met the old mechanic downstairs, he ought to address him respectfully as \"master.\" Once they had thought it through that way, everyone seemed to feel easier, like tightening one's hands against the winter cold and suddenly finding a hot-water bottle inside them. The small-town exam taker kept her head down and went on eating, privately grateful that the discussion had not landed on her. But that is how things go in this world: just when you are thankful by one part, it comes and adds ten parts of embarrassment. Sure enough, in the next moment a relative from goodness knows where appeared with a bowl in hand, strolled over to her side as if suddenly remembering that such a person existed, and asked: \"Where do you go to school?\" \"Jilin.\" \"Ji-what? Where is that?\" She had to say, \"Northeast of Beijing.\" The other person nodded as if understanding, then suddenly his eyes lit up. \"Oh, you mean that top student who studied in Shanghai or somewhere, a 985, computer science, then got into a state-owned company or a bank?\" \"No,\" she said. \"I study the humanities.\" \"Humanities?\" The man paused, as if those two words were even farther away than Jilin. \"And what are the humanities for?\" For a moment, she could not answer at all. It was not the first time she had heard the question of what the humanities were for. But every time she was asked, she still felt that no answer would be right. If she said reading and writing, it sounded useless. If she said thought and language, it sounded too empty. If she spoke of the future, even she herself did not fully know. Just as she was standing there in embarrassment, a dog happened to run past the courtyard gate, wet with rain and spattered with mud. The relative's attention was drawn away at once; he turned to scold the dog and forgot her in the same movement. It felt like a pardon. She let out a quiet breath of relief. After the meal, she finally went upstairs. At first the noise from below was still loud: clinking glasses, striking bowls and chopsticks, mixed with voices, laughter, children crying, wave after wave rising upward. Later it thinned, scattered, blurred. Only a few broken phrases could still be heard now and then: \"What's the use of taking all those messy certificates...\" \"I've heard people say that computer science, learning computers, that's still the most useful thing now, that's where the money is...\" At first these words were still clear. Later even these could no longer be made out. She heard only water dripping from the eaves, rain in the courtyard, a few barks in the distance, an occasional birdcall from the trees, and the rustling sound of cars rolling through the water on the road. The rain was not especially heavy, but it fell for a long time, as if someone were taking a chestful of grievances too muddled to name and pouring them finely, slowly, across the old village. She stood at the window and looked at the BMW outside the door. The body of the car shone with a cold gleam in the gray rain, like a silent display, like a wordless sneer. Somewhere below, someone suddenly began sobbing in a lowered voice. At first the crying was light, as though wrapped in rain. Later it drifted up in broken intervals and fell into the ear. It was clearer, and more painful, than all the loud talk from the table had been. The village was still this village, and the rain still fell in the same way. Mud clings to shoes; discussion drags at people. When a small-town exam taker returns to the village, it is as if she is not coming home at all but being placed once more beneath a crowd of eyes, examined again: What did you study, and what use is it? Where did you go, and how much do you make? Are you respectable or not? Are you worth money or not? As for what she had lost along the way, what she had endured, what she had hoped for, nobody asked. And even if someone did ask, they probably would not really want to know.","tags":[],"categories":["长文"]}],"meta":{"generated":"2026-06-06T14:16:23.933Z","total":16}}